Tracey Atkinson, MS, LPC
I am about to get very honest right now so grab a cup of coffee or tea, get settled in a comfy seat with a fuzzy blanket and read along as I shared a tiny glimpse of my story. By the way, I am completely okay with being open and honest because I KNOW with 100% certainty, I am not the ONLY woman with a messy walk with God! Praise the Lord!
I went from an innocent life of a 5-year-old little girl to a life shattered by childhood sexual abuse from ages 6-12 years old.
My completely change forever at the hands of a sexual perpetrator living in my home. A relative that we took in to live with us in our Godly home. Everything I knew that was innocent and loving became blurred very quickly.
Trauma changed my life; it changed my family's life. For six years, I experienced sexual abuse, and I truly felt God abandoned me when I needed him the most. To protect me, to help me, to save me.
A darkness took over my life, my thoughts, my functioning, it was gone. That little girl became trapped within me, longing to be loved, protected, saved. As the years went on, I became more destructive. I burned bridges, pushed people away, continually screamed at God because I thought he had abandoned me. I felt I wasn’t important enough for him to save me. I felt he didn’t love me. I felt like I was fighting the world and myself and it was EXHAUSTING.
My eyes were blind to God. My heart shattered. My ears deaf to people telling me how good God is, how much he loves me. It took me hitting rock bottom and a very, very long history of living an unstable life to stop running and realize he was there the whole time. Even when I couldn’t see him. Even when I prayed with everything I had and didn’t believe he heard me. Even when I ran out of tears crying, he was there, waiting for me to open my heart to him. He is the MOST loving God!
Although this is a very short version of my walk with the Lord, it is the powerful transformation of my life! I have worked in the mental health field for over 20 years, I am a motivational speaker, a life coach, a mental health advocate and published author.
If you feel that same internal battle, struggle with emotional wounds that rob you of a good quality of life, please reach out today!